I am often asked what to look for in a small group leader in children’s ministry.
While there are many qualities that those who fill this position should have, there is one that stands out above the rest for me. A small group leader should be a great listener.
Yes I believe that a small group leader should have a vibrant realtionship with God, spend time in His word, and be passionate about sharing Jesus with kids. Those are all very important.
Earlier this summer I attended a conference in Miami for my day job. While at the conference there were the usual main sessions and breakouts. During one of the main sessions there was a keynote speaker who said something that really struck me as both a father and a children’s pastor. He talked about his job experience, his wife and his kids. It was while he talked about something that one of his daughters said to him, that he struck me with a nearly mortal blow. She said, “Daddy, could you listen to me with your eyes and not just with your ears.” I nearly broke down in tears right then. How many times have I been doing something and have my son walk up and want to talk to me? How often do I continue working while half listening to what he is saying? More times than I care to admit.
Honestly, I am capable of hearing what he is saying while continuing to work, but that’s not the point. I consider myself a family man; the type that puts my family ahead of my worldly pursuits. However, in that moment I am telling my son that whatever I am doing is more important than him. In my mind I may be thinking that what I am doing is more important than what he is saying. This may be true as he most often wants to talk about cartoons or video games, but that’s not the point. In that moment the message I am sending my son is that whatever I am doing is more important than HIM. I could cry now thinking of the times I have done this while working, or worse, while watching TV. I fear that my son may already think that I don’t have time to listen to him, or that these other things are more important than he is.
