Parenting Advice from a Single Children’s Pastor

Kenny Acock —  July 28, 2010

A single Children’s Pastor just can’t offer any help for parents, Right?  This is a common sentiment, but is it true? I submit to you that it is not true. This notion is based on some concepts that seem logical until they are examined in greater detail. Upon further examination, a single Children’s Pastor actually can help parents raise their children.

The first misconception that must be overcome is that parents understand other parents. This does makes some sense. After all, once a parent has experienced certain stages in raising a child, it is easier for them to relate to other parents. Does this, however, mean that one parent automatically understands how another parent feels about a given subject? Is it an automatic conclusion that one parent would react in the same manner as another parent or subscribe to the same beliefs regarding parenting issues? My experience with many parents tells me that is simply not the case. I have had discussions with many successful parents on a number of topics. They all have varying ideas and opinions on topics ranging from what time a child should go to bed to what movies a child should be allowed to watch. There seems to be no “one-size-fits-all” approach to parenting. If this is the case, why would we assume that one parent can understand how another parent feels about varying topics?

Another assumption is that a single person cannot learn anything about parenting and can offer nothing to parents. I have known parents of teenagers, however, that are still trying to figure out how to raise their children. I have also known young parents that seem to raise their children very successfully. This implies that parents are not all at the same parenting level when they start their families. It may be that some have had some training ahead of time, or at least have been able to observe successful parents, before starting their own families. If younger parents can observe and learn about parenting and turn this into success in raising their own children, it stands to reason that a single Children’s Pastor can also be trained and has the ability to observe the world around them when it comes to parenting. There are many parenting seminars, workshops, classes, books, articles, and other training resources that can help. More importantly, there are experienced parents that can serve as a resource for anyone wishing to better understand how to raise children.

Finally, a single Children’s Pastor can help families even with no specialized training or experiential understanding of how to raise children. How? First, a single Children’s Pastor can help parents to locate needed training resources. Second, a single Children’s Pastor can help young parents to partner with more experienced parents for support and advice. Third, single Children’s Pastors may be more likely to accept the fact that they do not fully understand parenting. Because of this, it may be easier for them to ask for and listen to the advice of multiple parents and seek out various perspectives on issues and programming as opposed to pastors with children who may just rely on their own experience and opinions.

“I would like you to be free of concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:32-34, NIV).

EDITOR’S NOTE: For another take on this issue, please check on an article from J.C. Thompson called, “Giving advice on a subject you know nothing about.

Kenny Acock

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Kenny Acock is the volunteer Children’s Pastor at West High Baptist Church. Prior to serving at West High Baptist he volunteered in the Children’s Ministry at Faith Bible Church for over 14 years. Over time he began to realize that he was being called to full time ministry to children. Kenny has recently completed his Bachelor’s Degree for Christian Leadership at Grand Canyon University. His hope is to serve full time as a Children’s Pastor. As a volunteer at Faith Bible Church he served as the chair for the Children’s Ministry team at his church, as a Sparks Director (AWANA), and as co-director of VBS.

4 responses to Parenting Advice from a Single Children’s Pastor

  1. Kenny,

    Thanks for the great post. I think there are way to many people around who either

    1. Are parents who think non-parents can not possibly offer them any useful advice; or
    2. Single people without kids who think they “know everything” and judge parents on how they do things.

    I appreciate your efforts and willingness to seek out how single people can offer parenting advice without presuming to know more than (or condemn) parents.

    You willingness to methodically search out ways to help parents of kids you minister to is commendable.

    I’m looking forward to reading much more from you here on Kidmin1124.com

  2. Parenting is another yet a challenging task for parents. This might be difficult for them but when successful, a very fulfilling profession – yes I call it a profession because it also needs important strategies that a number of parents have just little knowledge…

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